Carnicle IV: The Scouring of Oompa and Loompa

Beyond the hill of Thornmallow, past the hills of Tribulla, and into the depths of the Eden forest, lay the House of Cabbage. Since the mating rituals were fashioned, the need for cabbage raising was one carnie step from superseded. The fields that were once overflowing with cabbage were soon fledged to become the capitol of Carnia. Cabbages were eventually used for more ritual purposes. The only “raising of carnies” by cabbage took place in the House of Cabbage. Here is where carnie couples who lacked the ability to give homage to the mating ritual came. It was their only chance to gain carnie children of their own.

Amongst these few hundred bushels of cabbage, there was the Watcher of the Cabbage. This particular carnie, by the cognitive Noompa, was all alone. All his days, from bud to adult carnie, he watched the cabbage. Being solitary, disconnected from almost any contact with other carnies, he began to conjure up three of his very own “specialized” cabbages. Failures after failure, his experiments were a disarray of his dream result. After much trial and error, and years and years of processing, Noompa, the Watcher of the Cabbage, finally produced three distinctly exceptional cabbages. All three were Technicolor and exuberant.

The three cabbages would have grown to become great influences to the ever growing carnie nation. But this was not to be. From the tallest tree in the Eden Forest, there grew a cocoa bean. All it took was a gust of wind and the bean came with it. Crashing through the ceiling of the House of Cabbage, the bean preceded to the experiment room, imbedded itself into one of the three “chosen” cabbages, tipping it to one side, and knocking the second of the three cabbages into to the third, fusing them together. Unknown, even today, is what happened to these fabulous cabbages.

The next day was “Hatch Splendor Day”, the day when all the cabbages bloomed and gave way to another generation of carnies. Many excited carnie folk came to adopt new buds of their own. None, however, were as excited as Noompa. Anxiously, he climbed up the spiral staircase to the experiment room, overjoyed at the though that his beautiful buds would soon come into this world. He had even chosen their names already; Oompa, Loompa, and Poompa. He walked slowly, being patient to savor the moment.

As he entered the room, his own consternation reflected the sight he beheld on the counter. He could not suppress a carnie shriek. Behold: a pair of Siamese twins and a chocolate carnie, all lying in their recently bloomed cabbages. Cooing at the sun, they giggled and arose. The crowd stood in awe, staring at the freakish buds. The Siamese twins were conjoined at the fingers and toes, and were completely identical. As the sun continued to shine on the new carnies, the chocolate one, Poompa, began to melt. The aroma immediately caught the attention of the other two, Oompa and Loompa. Within seconds Poompa was devoured. The only remains were the chocolate stains on Oompa and Loompa’s moist, delicate lips.

The crowd was a bit concerned. A hush chatter began to wash over the host. Noompa stood and began to attempt to relay how much he still loved Oompa and Loompa to the rest of the carnies. They were mellowed by his affection and decided to accept Oompa and Loompa. But LO! Even Noompa would not accept them after finding out they could not cart a wheel, for every carnie had the innate ability to cartwheel before even crawling. When asked to perform a series of cartwheels at the carnie initiation, they were unfortunate to have been discovered. The banning of the twins could only solve this outrageous event. Such a great travesty of the carnie way of life compelled the carnies to go a step farther in chastisement. Not only ban them, but ban them to the desolate forest of Narshar-RaraDÜINE; one of the most feared places in all of Carnia.

There Oompa and Loompa stayed and produced offspring for thousands of years, every generation identical to the previous, apart from being Siamese twins. The harsh forest soon became known as “Oompa Loompa Land”, and the dwellers, the “Oompa Loompas”. Obscuring the way of the carnie to disgusting levels, the Oompa Loompas threw away every aspect of tradition carried on by their carnie forefathers and only knew one thing: The Coco Bean.